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Rafael

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I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my fingers gripping my electric razor with unnecessary force inches away from the overnight stubble still darkening my jawline and chin. I didn’t need to see the vacant, dispassionate look in my eyes to know thatI was still brooding over what I could not have. What I shouldn’t even think about.

My thoughts, despite my best efforts, were on her again. On my best friend’s sister, Padma, who I had held in my arms almostsix months ago. It didn’t matter how inappropriate this constant brooding over my loss was; the point remained that I couldn’t forget the feel of her or the powerful emotions she made me feel. How could this woman I barely knew elicit such a response fromme? It was the antithesis of every emotion that I’ve ever felt toward women in the past. Sure, I had wanted other women in thepast, may have even lusted after some. But this biting, blistering lust, was something I had never encountered. No woman had ever made me feel this lack of control over my thoughts,my feelings, and even my body’s unwelcomed response. Never.

My mind was scorched by the memory of her soft skin and exotic beauty. The paper-thin silk dress had molded her body,accentuating each exquisite curve, her round perfect breasts, the indentation of her tiny waist, and the provocative swell of herfirm bottom. If she was wearing underwear, my fingers hadn’t been able to detect them. It had been impossible for me not toexplore her statuesque length. A length that had fit against my tall frame like a dream.

I closed my eyes as the memory overwhelmed me and swallowed back the bitter sense of loss I felt.

I couldn’t quite get over the fact that I had held perfection in my arms and let it slip away.

This obsession with Pax’s sister had started the first night that we met at my thirtieth birthday party. I ignored it then. But sixmonths ago, the night before my wedding, we met again, and the power of our attraction had knocked me for six. I was stillreeling now.

I have long since realized and accepted that my encounter with her irrevocably changed me.

My life used to run with minute precision. I used to wake up at precisely 5 a.m. every day, did a five-mile run on the track on my property, and swam two miles in my Olympic-sized indoor pool after. I showered, shaved, and was sitting at the breakfast table at precisely 7 a.m., where I caught up with any overnight emails and read all four of the top financial newspapers. Having already listened to the headline financial newscasts during my run, I usually skimmed through the periodicals quickly, efficiently. I would arrive at my headquarters by helicopter at 7:30 a.m., have my second cup of coffee while meeting with the top executive of my various international business segments at 7:45 a.m., and then have a meeting with the CFOs of those same segments forty-five minutes later. I reviewed and discussed a mountain of charts, analyses, and projections during each meeting.

My day would then progress with whatever scheduled meetings and calls were on calendar until my martial arts training,usually with one of my bodyguards, at 1 p.m., followed by a light lunch of high protein and raw vegetables an hour later, completewith an invigorating cooling shower in the bathroom attached to my office. The afternoon and early evening were again scheduledmeetings and calls. When the executive floor emptied at 6 p.m., that was when I was at my most productive, working well into thenight on emerging business ventures and making decisions on what had been delivered or discussed with me during the day.Dinner would be at my desk or at whatever business function my PA arranged that night.

I was a highly sexed male, who usually had a woman in my bed every other night. Sex was penned into my schedule with thesame level of importance and efficiency as my exercise regimen. Usually a few hours’ affair, my encounters always took place atthe nearby five-star hotel, penthouse suite. I never went to any woman’s home, and for damn sure they never came to mine.

My schedule had been what it was for years, essential to successfully navigating my complex business portfolio, with noalterations and no distractions until her.

Meeting Padma turned my world on its axis. It was disconcerting that six months in, I had still not been able to revert to my machine-like existence before her.

I can’t forget, I can’t ignore what I felt, and, worst of all, I can’t move on. I remembered and replayed our last encounterevery time I closed my eyes to sleep. It is all I’ve been able to dream about, on a repeat reel in my head, playing out in images andlove songs that I can’t escape. Hell, I think I know every lyric of Joe’s song, “Love Scene.” Never mind that it was a different love song that was the catalyst to my biggest fuckup with her.

It probably wouldn’t have been as bad if it was just during my sleeping moments. Now it was in my wakeful moments also,like now when my brain was dealing with the mundane. I couldn’t help remembering those few unforgettable and life-altering hoursthat had brought me to my knees.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” I had asked Padma gently.

That night, she seemed fragile, unlike the strong, confident woman that I had met the first and only time I had seen her. Asmy best friend’s little sister, she was completely off-limits to me. However, seeing her in that dress, which molded her slender bodylike a second skin with a slit high on her toned thigh and the metallic silver color that so closely matched her pale gray eyes, I washard-pressed in remembering why she was off-limits. The silk was almost as soft as her skin, and in fact, the fabric was soinsubstantial that it felt as though I was touching her naked, warm skin.

Her physical impact on my libido was shockingly inappropriate for an engaged man. She was above average height for awoman, almost six feet tall. She should have looked gangly, awkward even. However, she was anything but. Everything about herbody, her long, lean limbs, her small but perfectly round breasts and peach-shaped buttocks, the chiseled leanness of herstomach, and her narrow waist, which looked as though I could encircle it within my hands, all hit the fascination buttons for me.Her movements were graceful and elegant, almost as if she was moving to her own personal music. She had the body of aseductress, meant for loving, meant for a man to drown in. She lured me without even trying. Hell, I had never been so revvedup for a woman.

The fact that I wanted her, despite being hours away from becoming someone else’s husband, just highlighted how fucked up she had made me. It was a forbidden, impossible desire that I would never allow myself to acknowledge. And no matter how incredibly beautiful I found her, I would never breach the bro code to fuck my best friend’s sister as I so desperately wanted todo. Not to mention breaking my word to Giana. That engagement ring on Giana’s finger was an irrevocable promise that I hadno intention of breaking.

“What’s not to enjoy?”

Padma’s crisp British accent washed over me, reminding me of my best friend every time. It was incredible how alike thesiblings were. With the same toasted-almond skin tone and brilliant pale gray eyes. Even their voices sounded the same, husky,with a bit of a rasp that was incredibly sexy on Padma. Her voice, unlike her brother’s, fell on my ear like a soft caress and sent aslow, sensual shiver up my spine.

Although Pax never talked about his sister, and strangely enough Padma barely mentioned him either, Padma had all of Pax’s mannerisms and his reserved demeanor. And even though she had been giving a convincing imitation of a wallflower forthe past two hours at my and my fiancé’s stag/bachelorette party, she still appeared so self-assured that it left no one in doubt thatshe was alone and standing in a corner because she wanted to be. Her serene cool gaze didn’t stop men from approaching herthough. She was too damn stunning for that. I noticed, however, that she had sent every one of them packing with a calm

benevolence.

“I haven’t seen you on the dance floor,” I told her softly. “I’m sure when Pax sent you in his stead that he intended that you atleast have some fun.” We hadn’t spoken about why she was here instead of Pax, except for her apologizing on his behalf for hisabsence.

She gave me a cool stare that was incredibly unnerving coming from someone so much younger than me, and I sensed that she had far more innocence than I could hope to ignore. “Is that an invitation?” she asked in that accented, spine-tingle-inducing voice.

I smiled, trying to hide my discomfort. No, that wasn’t an invitation because I didn’t trust myself to touch her. I didn’t saythat though. Instead, I stood there staring at her like an idiot. At least I felt as though that’s how I looked.

“I think they’re playing our song,” she hinted.

The band was playing some random rap song that she must know I wouldn’t be caught dead dancing to. I couldn’t afford tochance my political career by dancing to such a derogatory song toward women. Even so, Padma looked up at me expectantly.

“Sure, why not?” I said after a heavy pause and giving a meaningful stare at the DJ. He knew to change that damn song onceI stepped on the dance floor.

Padma sensually gyrated her hips in time with the rap song as we weaved our way onto the dance floor. I knew that I was adead man, even before I pulled her into my arms to the DJ’s changed song. It was the much slower ballad that I needed. But as I expected, as soon as she was in my arms, my body became instantly jacked-up by her proximity. I was fucked.

I tried my best to play it off, even striving to engage her in conversation, but there was no denying the sparks that flew between us, the long stares, the heated silent pauses in conversation, and the instant ripple of searing heat when we touched. All caused a stunning coil of heat deep in my gut.

The feel of her in my arms, her lush softness against me was fucking nirvana. At well over six feet, I was a big man, and mostwomen standing next to me barely reached my chest. However, with Padma, everything was different. Her face lay just in the warm cavity of my neck, while the rest of her seemed to mold against me as though made for me. We fit just so, her curves, my angles, it all fit and melded together as though perfect pieces of an intricate puzzle.

I couldn’t hide the arousing impact she was having on my body. I was damn sure she noticed my flagrant lust too.

Her intoxicating scent captivated and lured me. It was a combination of expensive perfume and Padma’s own feminine essence. I knew that I would forever be able to find her in any crowded room even if I didn’t have sight of her. It was uniquelyher. I buried my face against the curly mass of her hair. It felt as though we were in a world of our own.

“I need to talk to you,” she said in that sultry, husky voice of hers, but with enough seriousness that she had me swallowing indiscomfort in both escalating arousal and trepidation.

I looked down at her, and her gaze immediately ensnared mine. I was so fucking lost it would take the fucking brigade tofind me. “That doesn’t sound ominous at all.” I tried to make a joke, but I knew that whatever she had to tell me was no joke.The emotions in her gaze alone warned me of that fact.

I suddenly didn’t want to hear whatever she had to say. It was probably some message from Pax, and he was one of the lastpeople I wanted to be reminded of while I was lusting after his sister. I simply wanted to hold her and feel, for perhaps the lasttime, a desire that I knew was once in a lifetime. A desire so spectacularly pure that it had both of us trembling with unspoken,but potent need.

Her body was almost melded into mine. The hard tips of her nipples stubbed my chest and her hips rolled subtly, but sensuallyas she cradled my erection, speaking a language of complete surrender and seduction.

I was hard as granite and knew that if we hadn’t been surrounded by my and Giana’s friends and family, I would give in to the compulsion to take her and feed our mutual need. And by the heated look in her eyes, I had no doubt that she would let me.

It was too late for us though. Whatever was between us was destined to remain unsated.

I was hours away from tying myself to another woman. Nothing could stop that, not even a potential forever love. Nothingshe had to say, or could have done, would have changed the world of hell I was willingly stepping into. My decision had life-and-death implications.

I should have ended our dance then. It probably would have ended whatever madness was taking control of my body. Butthen the DJ played a love song that I probably had never paid attention to before in my life. I certainly hadn’t rememberedhearing it before, and it certainly had no meaning to me before. It was only later when I was at my lowest point, and I had to listento the song again to convince myself that I had to have imagined it, that I looked the song up. “For Tonight,” by Giveon.

With the crowd around us, the house filled to the gills with friends and family, it had to be the alignment of those things,because I was not that guy. I convinced myself that it was the alignment of that song, at that time, with that incredibly sexywoman that had me acting so out of character. Had me breaking my word. It had to be something that caused me to take her tomy study on the pretense of hearing her out.

Even as we crossed the threshold, I stalked further into the room, breathing in and out slowly, trying to force somesemblance of equilibrium before I turned to look at her. Too bad I wasn’t as in control as I thought I was. With the rhythm of thesong still beating through my veins like a drug, and the sight of her pressed against the closed door of the study, looking at mewith those big gray eyes filled with undiluted adoration and surrender, my resistance snapped. There was only so much restraint aguy could mount when offered his wet dream on a silver platter.

One minute we were facing each other across the room, and the next, I was on her, kissing her in the hottest, most sexuallyexplosive kiss of my life. This amazingly sexy woman wanted me, and I sure as fuck wanted her. There was no contest. My hungerfor her had obliterated every thought in my head.

With no regard to my commitments, honoring my friendship with Pax, or the very real possibility of our being caught, I kissed, tasted, and nibbled every inch of her that I uncovered. She was so fucking sweet I suddenly wanted to taste all of her.

I forced myself back to the present. God, I shouldn’t go there again. I couldn’t think of what followed without experiencing again the pain of love lost.

And yes, for the first time in my life, I knew down to the marrow of my bones that I would love her always. Irrevocably.Completely. Love her.